Friends, I am being placed in a terrible position. My wife and family are going away to stay with my in-laws for a few days. Firstly, can I state how much I will miss them. But secondly, it presents me with a dreadful opportunity. In simple terms...
Three whole nights to behave like a single "scemo" again.
For those who have never lived as a single "scemo" (fool is my kindest translation) it generally consists of three things.
1) Staying up very late playing computer games/watching sport.
2) Talking at immense length about football, nonsense and good-looking women.
3) Drinking more grappa than is sensible/advised by government health experts.
As a responsible, married, father-of-two etc, is this acceptable behaviour? Shouldn't I cut the grass, tidy the attic and catch up on the ironing? Will you tell the missus if I don't? Should I restrain myself or should I go for it full pelt and what the hell?
Oh, the torment...
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5 comments:
You should be cutting the grass, doing any decorating that needs done and making sure the house is tidy for your beloved family's return.
Leave the behaving like a single scemo to the experts i.e. me. It takes years of training to perfect and I fear for your safety if you throw yourself straight back into it. Believe me I make it look easy but it isn't.
Plus who are you going to be doing number 2 and 3 on the list with? Yourself?
As you will be well aware, there is no shortage of candidates when it comes talking nonsense/football/women down here...
Well enjoy yourself if you go for the scemo option.
So how come you're getting left on your own? Is Bill fed up with you drinking all his whisky?
I have to work, sadly. That man would never stop pouring whisky. I may partake at the weekend.
Everybody needs to act like a scemo every now and again. I've got the act of acting like a scema down to a fine art, but I'm lucky as my other half is a scemo too. Our weekends usually consist of eating and drinking excessively and watching as many films as possible. I do tend to nag though occasionally if the cleaning isn't done, but that's just women for you.
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